Happy Mother's Day!

 (I wish S could be in this picture with us!)

First of all, HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY to all the mother's out there, but especially these two wonderful women!

(Funny enough, I had to cut the husbands out of both of these pictures. I love those men, but today is about these lovely ladies.)

There are some very poignant Mother's Days in my life: the first one after I moved out of the house, both times I got to call home on my mission, the first time I was pregnant, and the first time I had my own baby. This is one of those: the first time we have a foster care child in our home. Which means another lady is on my mind, not just my and Jason's mothers.

Lately I've been sad for S's situation and all S has gone through. It's hard to not think about it. And despite all S has gone through, I can't imagine how S's parents feel. Had my boys been taken away from me, it would feel similar to ripping off my limbs I imagine. There's no way to make this situation NOT sad. There are only so many things that can happen:

1 - The parents pull their act together completely and S returns to them. This leaves only the trauma that has already happened, the sad state of S having to be away from S's parents for months, and the fact that I will miss S, even knowing S is exactly where S should be. This is the best case scenario, and there is still a lot of sadness.
2 - Second best case scenario would be if we quickly realized that S's parents mentally weren't capable of being parents which would release S for adoption and settle everything really fast. We would adopt S and not have all the back and forth that comes with foster care. This also would explain S's situation a little with no one at fault, which would be nice. Again, the sadness here would be that S doesn't get to go back to the bio parents and that so much trauma has taken place already.
3 - Another situation could be that a family member pops up and says they want S. (They have 120 days after foster care placement to get some paperwork and background checks done because kinship care is always preferred to standard foster care.) This could work out okay if the family is a good one, but foster care is a lot of work and a lot of people aren't prepared for it when asked to take a child in without all the training first. Since S has been with us this long though, another move could be really hard for S. I'd hate for S to start forming bad attachment issues at such an early age. And S has adjusted to a whole new way of life already, so doing it twice would be especially hard.
4 - We could go through a long process and battle, which is never good for a child, and end up adopting S. It would be hard to fight a bio parent for their child. If it were for the child's best interest, I'd go to great lengths, but it still wouldn't be easy.
5 - S's parents could make a minimal effort, and a judge could send S back to them, just to repeat many of the the things that put S in our home to begin with. This is worst case scenario, and I'm sure I don't have to point out what would be sad here.

These are just a handful of the predictable scenarios here. Once something tragic enough has happened that a kid ends up in foster care, there really isn't a path that doesn't involve some heartache and healing, no matter my actions or S's story thus far.

So this is what I've been thinking about on this significant Mother's Day. What's best for the children is what I will always stand for, but I have empathy for the parents in this situation also. S should have been taken out of their care; there is no doubt in my mind. But that doesn't mean they weren't heartbroken when it happened.

So I'm going to go hug all my babies and be so very grateful to my Heavenly Father that we are together and safe and happy and mostly healthy. (I say mostly because I left church early with a cold. Blah. Still grateful it isn't anything worse though.) I love my mediocre, boring, steady life. I love the people the Lord has placed in my life. I love being a mother.

Here is what Jason got me for Mother's Day! These clip on to a bracelet I own so I can wear whatever saying fits my day. All of these are so special to me, especially the Tolkien quote. I love Lord of the Rings, and I think this quote is perfect. I've actually slipped it into conversations (and then proceeded to feel like a nerd, but I'm okay with that.)

 After opening presents, we had a tissue paper fight. There was plenty of ammo because all the presents were in bags and came with several sheets. :)

And this is the sweet, sweet mother's day card I got that will hang on our wall every spring from now on.

And here is a video of Seth's Mother's Day program at school. They sang each song twice.

Happy Mother's Day, everyone!