Why Adoption?

In the beginning, we knew...
When Jason and Ashley were first married, we knew we wanted a house full of children and we knew we would eventually add to our family through adoption. Adoption was always on our radar, because everyone involved is given an opportunity to grow in understanding and empathy. We just wanted to be involved with people selfless enough to choose adoption. We knew there was a need, and we knew we could serve others by being adoptive parents. Serving others makes our world go round. We love giving, and we love, understand, and connect with children. It just fit for us. And it's not just about giving. On the selfish side, we know how extraordinarily adoption could bless our lives. To bring someone else's culture, background, and traditions into our home only helps us grow and have a larger view of the world. It helps us teach the three children we have now about love, and sharing, and acceptance, and that there is good in every situation and every person you will encounter. These are things that are very hard to teach without help from those around you.

A turn in the road...
Eight months after giving birth to Seth, Ashley could feel that something wasn't right with her body. Being a dancer, she had always been so in tune with her own rhythm and movement, and it all just felt wrong at that time in her life. Things got worse before they got better. But there was a chiropractor that wouldn't give up on Ashley, including praying for her for the many months she was his patient. He finally figured out how to help many of her muscles relax, and that was the key to the alleviation of much of her pain.

Through advice from a physical therapist and more inspiration for our Heavenly Father, we got pregnant a second time. The doctors hoped it would fix Ashley's back problems completely. Despite our hopes, a large reset to Ashley's hormones didn't help the pain. In fact, being pregnant made her back hurt a lot worse. When Kai was born, the pain went back to exactly how it had been at the start of the pregnancy.

We found out that Ashley's back can't handle the extra weight of pregnancy. If we adopt instead of Ashley carrying the child herself, she will live a normal life. If we continually get pregnant, we risk sending Ashley to a wheelchair.

Foster Care...
As we were praying about adoption, we got an overwhelming answer to prayer that we needed to become foster parents. S entered our home in the middle of the night in fairly bad condition. We have watched her grow into a sweet, caring girly-girl. The goal of her case has been changed from reunification with her parents to adoption by us. We will probably adopt her before the year is out, and it just feels like this is exactly how it was always meant to be. She has an aunt and grandpa that are wonderful influences for her, and they have become more and more like family to us.

Outside looking in...
Everyone asks if we are sad that we shouldn't get pregnant anymore. That has never been our focus. Instead, we think about the inspiration we received to have our boys when we did. The Lord knows and loves us! We can't imagine our family without our two little boys! Thank goodness we followed His counsel, or our family would forever feel empty. And then that same loving God sent us in S's direction! We can't describe how thankful we are! The other question we get is why we don't just settle in with our children and not have any more at all. This isn't an option. Serving others is what we do, and serving children is what we want to do forever. If we had just "settled in", we wouldn't have S in our lives, and that would be tragic for us! We love the children's purity and innocence. Their unbiased, untainted view of the world inspires us. We love watching them make connections and express unabashed love. If only we could all be a little more like them.

Now we are here, ready to jump in, to follow God's counsel, and to expand our family to include all who will join us. Who couldn't use another loving, supportive person in their lives?? And this goes for us, future birthparents, and of course, the children. We have this feeling of being on the brink of something wonderful, knowing goodness, love, and empathy lie ahead. Our eyes are forward, and we can't wait to jump in.