UACs Adoption Conference, part 2 (Day 1)

Class #1: Opening a Closed Adoption

There were both Birth Parents and Adoptive Parents at this one. And the two perspectives really added to the conversation. I loved being in there with both groups and feeling the bond the groups had together. Most people in the room didn't say enough to reveal which side of the conversation they fell on, but some did. One girl was obviously a Birth Parent from her comments, and I got to talk to her briefly in the next class, which was awesome, because I really felt like she had a lot of wisdom to share. I'll tell about our conversation later.

This class doesn't apply to us now, but I felt as though it might if we lose contact with our future Birth Parents one day. We know that life gets REALLY busy as it moves along, so we know contact from the Birth Parents end may change from time to time; we might be best friends one year as we live close together and hardly be in contact the next year as the Birth Parent works hard to hold down a job and graduate from high school or college. And that's okay! Life happens! But I wanted to know exactly how to NOT lose contact and exactly how to say things honestly without offending. I would really hate to say something in my ignorance that offends. That's what I was trying to avoid by attending this class.

UACs Adoption Conference, part 1

What to say... I was so humbled by this experience, which honestly isn't what I had expected going in. So what had I expected? Information, lots and lots of information. And I got that, and so much more. I've thought a lot about what to write in this post and how to write it, and I'm still not sure.

First of all, God is amazing. He let everything work out so Jason and I were able to go to this thing together. And so much thanks to the friend that took our boys for two days. We couldn't have done it without her.

So Jason and I show up and find out that they have a gluten free lunch option that we weren't informed of. And everyone was so ready and willing to help out and make sure the chef was able to get us some gluten free food. From the get-go, we were astonished at the camaraderie and helpfulness everyone showed. We had obviously just walked into a very special club of people. And we had only just arrived.

There's something you should know about Jason.

We have been at the Utah Adoption Council's Spring Adoption Conference for the last 2 days, and we are exhausted. Because I'm so tired, I don't think I could do justice to a post about that awesome, awesome conference. So I will post about that tomorrow. Until then, here's a short story you need to know about Jason:

The birth of our second son was not as smooth as the birth of our first son. It all turned out great, and the experience gave both of us a renewed sense of love for each other and our children. (Not that it had ever waned...) Through the rough patch during the birth and my stay in the hospital, Jason couldn't have been more helpful, loving, caring, nurturing, etc. He just took care of Kai and me so perfectly. He was so gentle with our newborn baby. It was amazing to witness.

We were talking to the nurses at their station, and I think the lights and noise got to newborn Kailand, because he started to fuss. Jason automatically offered to take the baby back to the room, noting that I was having fun talking; it wasn't even a hesitation in his mind. As soon as he was in the room, one nurse turned to me with a mission in her eyes.

Nurse: Okay, seriously, where did you find a man like that?

Today was better than yesterday!

So yesterday was crazy. It was not my favorite day. I backed into a CAR today, and it was still better than yesterday. That says something.

One good thing did happen yesterday though. Ya ready? We have an RFC (resource family consultant) through DCFS (department of child and family services) for foster care! :D We've been absolutely, 100% approved to be foster parents. This is part of our initiative to expand our family, and we know it's the right thing to do for us. We don't really care if the child that joins our family isn't an infant. (Though for our children's sake, we won't take in kids older than Seth.) And we would be honored to help a child that needs a stable home. The thought of the suffering inflicted on children in our world today literally brings tears to my eyes. "If you have done it unto one of the least of these, my brethren, ye have done it unto me." It's been a crazy process (which I should probably post about sometime) but it's all been worth it. We have a meeting with our RFC in about 2 weeks just to get to know her and so she can get to know us.

So on to today! I loved this day. Because yesterday was horrendous and because Jason wasn't around much, I took it easy today. The kids and I did extra cuddle and reading time. I chose easy-peasy projects to do with them. I started watching Wreck-It Ralph while I folded laundry, and when I was done, I cuddled with the boys while we finished the movie. Instead of struggling to get Kai to take a nap today, I let him do quiet time with Seth. I even took them upstairs a little early so we could read a couple of books before bedtime. And it's a good thing I did, because Seth started complaining of a tummy ache, so it was good to have a few quiet moments as that started plaguing him.

Sunday all day long :)

We had stake conference today. It was long for the kids, especially because I knew we would end up in metal folding chairs for two hours so I didn't let the kids bring any cars to church, which is usually their only form of entertainment. (People save chairs like crazy for stake conference, so we always end up pretty far back, even though we get there early.) We took an Aqua Doodle, and the kids were so nice, sitting quietly and doing math and reading and drawing on this little toy.

We had the missionaries over for dinner tonight, which is a huge honor. This is the first time we've met them, because they serve a huge area. I had thrown a roast in the crock pot before church and made some rolls afterward. I loved talking to those amazing young men. One of them is 18, only 4 months out in the mission field. Since I wasn't able to go until I was 21, I was just so proud of the decorum he showed. The conversation was easy and fun. And they were really sweet with Seth and Kai. It was really wonderful.

Honk!

Today was a wonderful day.

This was Jason's last Saturday before he starts filling them up with theater practice. Before we go head-under-water with his crazy schedule, we wanted a day just for family. I had previously signed us up for free passes for frontrunner and trax (the public transportation systems around here), so we used those and hopped the train!

The boys were so ecstatic to be riding at first. They pointed out everything we passed and kept us updated on how many sets of tracks were running alongside us. Kai kept asking why he needed to look out the window, because I was constantly asking him what was out there. It was so funny. This picture was taken near the end of the looooooong ride to the City Center Mall in Salt Lake City. They claim to still be loving it at this point, but this photo doesn't really show it.

Updates

Service on Sunday:
The PB&J service we were going to do on Sunday has been cancelled. :( They moved it to the 30th of this month. I really hope we can make it that day...

Food on Wednesday:
Wednesday was CRAZY! But we got everything done that we needed to do, including making food for the Expectant Parent Meeting we'd volunteered for. We ended up making individual strawberry shortcakes with whip cream and extra strawberries to go on top, my famous no-bake cookies, and some homemade mints. My cookies weren't as good as usual due to Kai screaming and crying at me while I made them, but most of the food was gone when we went to pick up the dishes, so it must have still been pretty good. When we dropped the food off, we were able to see our caseworker, which was great. And our boys were really excited to know they were helping ladies that were going to have babies. They are pretty excited any time babies are mentioned. It's really cute. Jason was able to take off an hour from work to help me drop of the food, which was a huge relief! I love that he works from home and is usually available for things like this. And I love his willingness to pitch in!

Adoption Conference:

I got my ticket!

The Annual Adoption Spring Conference put on by the Utah Adoption Council is happening next week, and I haven't been able to get things to work out so far. I can't figure out babysitting for the kids during the day, I can't get a hold of my friend who is also looking to adopt and who I was going to go with, etc.

But I am riding on faith. So I bought my ticket anyway, knowing the Lord will make it work out if it's supposed to.

So I talked to Jason, and here's the plan:

St. Paddy and some service

Happy St. Patrick's Day! This isn't a big holiday for us. We put on some green clothes and eat green eggs and ham for one of the meals. That's about it. Lol! I took a picture of the green eggs and ham, but it didn't look too appetizing, so I won't post it here. Those leprechauns did a good job dying our eggs and milk green though! The little ones were pretty put off by it, and they won't drink the milk unless it is in a sippy cup so they can't see it. Funny boys!

Today I was able to sign up for a couple of service opportunities that I am excited about!

First, I found out today that I get to take treats/snacks in to the expectant parent meeting in American Fork. What do I bring?!? Do they want salty? Sweet? More of a meal? Something original? Something normal, like chocolate chip cookies? Jason and I have been brainstorming for the last hour or two (about as long as we've known we were doing this tomorrow) and we aren't quite sure which direction to take it. I know I'll be doing it again in the future, so this isn't the only opportunity. Some ideas we've had are:

The weekend

Yesterday we went to the home show at UVU. It was fun, as always. We always get free tickets and go. Jason and I love it because we get some good ideas and some good information. We love doing projects to improve the house. (See the blog post entitled "Yay! They're back!" to see Jason's latest project.) The kids love it because there is candy everywhere and a bouncy house. (The kids don't get a lot of candy usually.)

Sssss... Uuuuuu... Nnnnnnn...

Yesterday, I was witness to the CUTEST moment between Jason and Seth. Seth was in the kitchen and had built a wall out of only red mega blox. He was so proud of it because of how strong it was. Jason was cooking dinner and had a second, so he bent down to check out Seth's strong wall. Jason told Seth the reasons it was strong, such as the pattern he had used and the pieces he had used. Seth was so proud that he had figured it out without all the terminology and such. One thing Jason said was, "That's how you build a wall. You have to do the pattern over and over. If you do it the same way for the whole wall, it makes it strong." I loved the life lesson contained therein. Being strong takes a pattern of strength that is repeated many times. Exhibiting strength once, we can convince ourselves that it was an odd moment and that we aren't really strong. Exhibiting strength many times, we can no longer deny that we have built strength within ourselves. If every boy had a daddy that would take the time with their children like Jason did here (and does often), we would be surrounded by men of character. I've seen Seth take little lessons like this and apply it to other areas. It's a wonder to watch.

Proofreading

The blog posts are going to be slow for the next week or so. I'm proofreading a book right now. Every once in a while I take a book from an author and proofread it. I've cut my clientele down to three authors. One is a mystery/thriller writer, and the other two are sci-fi writers. It takes me a week or two to finish a book depending on the length and number of errors made. I haven't had a book since November simply because I've been concentrating on other things. That's the best part of my job: I get to determine when I take a book. There have been times when I've taken several in a month and other times when I've not taken a book for months at a time, like the past few months. I don't do it for the money (or I'd be taking on a lot more clients.) I do it for myself. I love the work, and it keeps my skills up and my mind sharp. Also, if anything were to happen to Jason and he couldn't provide for our family financially anymore, I would easily be able to turn this into a full-time career. Jason built a website for me:

Yay! They're back!

So it's always mixed feelings for me when my wife and kids go to Wyoming without me.  This past Thursday-Sunday they went to visit Grandma and Grandpa's house.  They were SUPER excited to go since it's been a while since they visited.  I stayed behind because I needed to work and had play practice at night.  It's always very relaxing to spend that time alone for a bit. 

I got a ton done around the house including installing a new chandelier in the stairway (replacing the canned light), scotch guarded the couches, did the dishes, swept the floor, vacuumed, installed new toilet seats, unplugged the drains in our bathroom, cleaned the couch in my office, took out the garbage and reorganized the garage.  It was completely new when they came home lol.  It's always great to get so much done.  Sometimes it's difficult to get a lot of these things done when the kids are here because we want to spend so much time with them.  They're too cute to just leave alone lol. :)  Here are a few pictures of the new light:

Home, home on the range

Yep, I grew up "where the buffalo roam". No really. This is about 30 seconds from my childhood home.

Wyoming

I'm in Wyoming with family for my sister's regional basketball tournament. I'll not be posting the next few days, but I haven't gone away forever! I promise!

Our Profile Is LIVE! :D

It happened! This is a HUGE step, probably the biggest one yet. Our profile is officially live on http://itsaboutlove.org so you can search by our names and state (Jason and Ashley in Utah) or you can search by our profile ID (30342624).

Go to the website
click "adoption"
click "browse available families"
continue as a guest
click "find a profile by ID or names"
type in the info and hit enter

Here is a direct link to our profile: https://itsaboutlove.org/ial/profiles/30342624/ourMessage.jsf
Our caseworker has been a huge help. I'm so glad she's been there for us. There is no way to express how excited we are. I know it could still be a VERY long time before anything more happens, but at least the potential is there in one more way, a big way. There isn't one ounce of me that is nervous. These jitters are all excitement for sure! I think about it every 5 minutes or so. :) Let the wait begin!

Also, Jason added a fun picture slider to this blog, so go click through some pictures! (On the right side of the blog.)

Goodnight!

I'll be honest: the last couple days haven't gone very smoothly. Instead of complaining though, I want to share the best part of my day with you.

Our bedtime routine.

Let me set the scene for you: cars. On the walls, on the bunk beds, everywhere. They share a room by choice, and they even chose the smaller room out of their two options because it was decorated with Lightning McQueen. (The other room is decorated in Noah's Ark and animals to incorporate a cross-stitch I did while pregnant with Kai.)

Of course, we start off with the usual things: potty breaks, a big glass of water, Seth's allergy medications, brushing teeth, flossing, and getting into pajamas. On nights when we are really early to bed, we read a few books or tell a story. We don't worry about the stories if we aren't really early to bed though, because we read with the boys at least 20 minutes almost every day.

Polygamy, Polygyny, and Plural Marriage

I was up late last night, like 2:30 AM late. After the movie, I came home to finish up my lesson for today. I'd already spent many, many hours on it, but it's a subject where I need to strengthen my testimony, and it's also a touchy subject for many, so I wanted to get it right and know that I could answer any questions that might come up. I just fretted about it a lot.

Lego Movie

Last night we went to see Lego Movie with a couple of friends. And if you've seen the movie, you know that

Everything is awesome!

Toward the middle, I thought it got a little random and weird, but it was so funny that I was just engrossed anyway. The instant the credits started to roll, Jason leans in and says, "I want to own that movie!" My response was, "I know you do, honey." It is just his kind of movie. About 5 minutes in, I knew he would love it. He is lighthearted and happy by nature, so he really appreciates a clever joke.

Tucanos

Tucanos is our favorite restaurant. Kids 6 and younger eat free, so it ends up be comparable to other sit-down restaurants for us, and it's basically all you can eat steak. The salad bar there is AMAZING: Fruits, pasta salads, green salads, pasta, rice, mashed potatoes, and the best cheesy bread balls ever. Jason and I can't have everything because of our gluten free diet, but there are only about 2 things that we usually eat that we have to pass up on, so it still works great for us! We don't go all the time, but when we do, we don't eat dinner because we are still so full when evening comes around.

Happy Tucanos, everyone!