Jason & Ashley's Adoption Journey: April? What's April?

So... April was crazy. Like, out of this world crazy. The last day of April Jason and I looked at each other and literally said things like, "Wait... what? How did it get to be the last day of April?!?" Let me explain (with some cute pictures thrown in for good measure!)

COURT
We had the permanency hearing for S's case through foster care. It was scheduled for a Wednesday. There was family from our side and from S's side who had driven in from out of state to be here for the court hearing because it is the biggest hearing in the foster care process (at least in this case for us).

Grandma and S talking about what's important: jewelry!
I am so glad she and grandpa came into town to support all of us.

Leading up to this day, I was a nervous wreck. I was less nervous for the birth of my first child! I was less nervous leaving to serve a mission in a foreign country! In both of these examples, I knew what the outcome was going to be, and none of the options had me losing a family member. The outcome of this court hearing could have lead to me losing S, and yes, she is family. I love that girl so much. As we are about to walk out the door, I get a text message from the caseworker saying the judge is sick and court is postponed until Friday. And thirty minutes later, court is postponed again until Tuesday! I thought I was going to die having to wait that long. That meant six more days of being a nervous wreck. I literally had to cut back to basics just to make it through. I got basic cleaning done, I played Wii, and I played with the kids. That was about all that got done around our house. I just wanted to make memories in case one of my memory makers was taken from me.

And then Tuesday came. We were there way earlier than we needed to be because I was so anxious. My mom came back into town specifically for this court date. I was so glad to have her on one side of me and Jason on the other throughout the hearing process. It calmed me a lot to be surrounded by kind, understanding, loving people. And I want to add a special thanks to my friend, Julie, for being willing to take all 3 kids very early in the morning and get them to school for me. She was so amazingly supportive, even through the multiple schedule changes when court was delayed.

We entered the court room without S's parents. They hadn't shown up, and no one had been able to contact them in any way for about a week. Their absence made for a short hearing. The feeling in that room was strong and strange. I cried tears of joy for us and simultaneous tears of sorrow for them. The outcome of the hearing was that the goal of the case was changed from reunification with her parents to adoption by us! It was a great day for us. My spirit calmed and I felt peace the moment the judge made her declaration. I have felt from the beginning that S was to be a part of our family, but I didn't want to admit it for two reasons. 1) I didn't want to get my hopes up and then be let down. We've waited to add to our family for a long time. 2) We would have been happy to be a small part of a grand story where her parents pull it together and get her back. I would have loved to help them in that way.

There is still a LONG road ahead before we can actually adopt S. Too long. But I can wait as long as I need to now that we are really sure of the future. (Though I would rather adopt her sooner than later if I get to pick. Lol!)

LENDING A HAND
While all of this court anxiety was happening, we were also living with two extra people in our house. A 21-year-old woman (whom we will call P) aged out of the foster care system and had nowhere to go from March to June, at which point she was going to go to Job Corps. She also had a newborn baby girl (whom we will call Q.) We offered to let them stay with us for those few months since we have a large bedroom that has no one in it. (Jason's office was in there, but he was willing to rearrange so that we could have room for P and her baby. I am telling you, Jason is amazing. His office is now in our closet. We have a huge closet, but it isn't nearly as nice as having your own room... Jason's amazing. Did I say that already??) We had very few stipulations before she moved in. 1) That she get a background check. This was DCFS's stipulation, not ours. It was required so that we could have her and S in our house at the same time. 2) I couldn't be her main source of transportation. 3) If she did anything in any way to harm our children (including bringing pornography of any sort into our house, etc.) she was out of our house instantly.

I won't go into a lot of detail, because I don't want to chastise her in public, but P had a hard time adjusting to all of the new changes in her life. It caused contention. I helped where I could, but she required more help than I could give with three kids, the court hearing (and anxiety), and everything else going on. It was hard. There was nothing so wrong as to consider kicking her out, and I was glad that we were helping, for she did learn many things that helped her as she adjusted to being a new mother. And I LOVED holding that new baby. It has been a long time since I got to hold a newborn on a regular basis. I miss it!

Poor Sethie! He cried when we told him the baby would be moving out the next day. We told him to smile for the picture, and this is as close as he could manage. He loves babies, and he is a fantastic big brother. The day we adopt a baby, I will post the opposite picture of this one.

I miss this girl so much. She was such a cuddle bug. Can't wait until I hold her again!

However, three days after the court hearing (finally) took place, I heard back from our RFC (our foster care representative) about P's background check. She never got it. Had DCFS found out, they could have taken S from our home. I was furious. I haven't been that mad in a very long time. P had lied to both Jason and me multiple times about this. I talked to Jason about it, and I decided not to say anything until I could calm down and pull my thoughts together. But then I saw P in our kitchen, and my mouth took over. I blurted out, "You didn't get your background check!" She said, "Yes, I went in, and filled out the paperwork, and..." I cut in, "And you didn't have your social security card, and you didn't get your background check." She just stood there with a look that told me she knew she was caught. "You have 48 hours to get out of my house, and I am giving you that long because I like you and am feeling generous."

I informed our RFC of the decision I had made, and she said that was a good solution. P and Q moved out about 24 hours later, but they moved into a situation that I don't think is healthy for either of them. I worry about them and text them, but it is hard to get a read on how things are really going or why they are going that way. So I just worry and pray.

EASTER AND LDS GENERAL CONFERENCE
Easter and conference Sunday fell on the same day this year. I will post about it separately, because we have a lot of pictures. :)

CONCRETE
And we got a lot of new concrete on all four sides of our house and in our garage! I am ecstatic. We extended our porch out front, added a patio out back, added a pad for the garbage cans on one side, and added a pad for the air conditioner on the other side. (The air conditioner was sitting on a piece of thick plastic before, which had tipped and made our air conditioner cost a fortune to run. I'm excited to pay cheaper cooling bills this summer.)

Of course, the timeline had to be terrible. We were supposed to have it all done by the time court came around, but it snowed. You can't lay concrete in snow.

Jason made a cyclops snowman throwing a spear. Silly man.

Grandpa helped the boys build this funny snowman. They loved it!

This is Jason helping S to safely make it across the concrete barrier to the grass.
He is so sweet with her. I think he's enjoying having a sweet little girl. :)

The gang's all here!

I love these boys.

So we were left with no stairs in our garage and a torn up yard while we waited for things to dry out. It was all worth it though. I love having the extra space for the kids to play, for me to sit (and read a book!), and for our outdoor things to be, such as our picnic table and grill. Yay! :D