Bully

Yesterday we made it all the way through Stake Conference for the first time in a couple years! Hurray for us! I got feeling nauseated last night, and Kai started puking tonight. :( Poor kiddo. He was such a trooper through the whole thing. Seth went to school and passed off another book. The most exciting thing today was getting an email from our caseworker to set up our personal interviews! Woohoo!

We haven't done much because of the sickness going around though, and I haven't taken pictures either. Because we've been so boring lately, I thought I'd do a different kind of post today.


Jason and I were watching a reality television program. One of the main people turned to another main person on the show and said, "You're being a bully!" That person responded, "If I'm bullying them, it's because they deserve it!" And that is where my mind started turning. I don't think I could even tell you what happened the rest of the show.

Does anyone deserve to be bullied? In any circumstance? My answer would be no. In the 24 hours since that TV show, I haven't thought of one instance where someone deserves to be bullied. There are laws and natural consequences in place when someone does something wrong. (And that's not even mentioning the consequences that come after this life if we have chosen to purposely live a life contrary to Heavenly Father's commandments.) But is any of it up to me? No. And thank goodness! I don't want to have to call the shots. But bullying someone is different. To me, the term "bullying" means degrading someone because of a different preference or choice from your own. Degrading. I hope I have never degraded someone. If I have, I sincerely hope they know that it wasn't intentional.



I remember sticking up to bullies when I was younger. Picture it: I was always one of the shortest kids in my class, always in the front row of the class pictures. I didn't hit triple digits in weight until my senior year in high school. But when I saw someone being bullied, I didn't hesitate to step up. I'm sure I was anything but scary to these bullies that I encountered! But I was feisty, and I never have been able to watch someone get bullied and do nothing.

When I was in third grade (I believe), I chased down a boy that was picking on my younger brother. This boy was on his bike, and I was on foot, but I was determined to catch him, and I did! I didn't do anything more to him than use my "stern voice" though. (Not that your voice can be all that stern as a third grader... Haha!)

When I was in fourth grade, I lost all my friends because I stuck up for an autistic girl when they mocked her in front of our entire class, including the autistic girl.

In fifth grade, I almost got in a fist fight with a girl I would have considered a friend, because she was picking on another girl simply because she felt she could. She thought she was cooler, so she thought she could tell this other girl what to do.

In sixth grade, I was late leaving class, so no one else was around. When I walked out of the school, an overweight girl was surrounded by three boys on bicycles. I ran over and kicked the one boy's tire. All three rode off on their bikes at that point.

When I was in Young Women's, I left early in protest after the leaders wouldn't help me stick up for a dyslexic girl that was getting picked on by girls in our young women's group while we were watching Johny Lingo! (Johny Lingo is a movie about seeing the best in others and loving yourself. Ironic, isn't it?)

I could go on. I've seen a few bullies in my time. What I don't understand is what they get out of it! Why? And I see it still today. Someone is in the middle of a divorce, so they spend all their time and energy trying to crush their significant other. Or a bunch of ladies get together for a game night, and half the time is spent talking about a woman that isn't even there to defend herself.

And now there are NEW and IMPROVED methods of bullying! If they can't catch you at school, they can catch you at home on your computer just by posting on Facebook, or Twitter, or any other social site! And in this way, all the negative feelings we have toward one another are strengthened and emphasized. And all the good feelings are never engendered or are quickly snuffed out.

I think the words "deserve" and "bully" should never enter the same sentence. NO ONE deserves to be degraded. If they do something exceptionally wrong, let the law handle it. Otherwise, let's give them the benefit of the doubt. And most of the time, those being bullied have done NOTHING to incur the wrath of anyone else. Most of the time, it is simply that they don't have enough self-confidence to change the situation.

I hope I always stick up for the little guy. I hope there is never a time when I could have helped and I didn't. My heart aches just thinking about it. I truly believe bullying would come to an end if the bullies knew they couldn't get away with it, if they knew there would always be someone there to challenge them.

So what is your definition of bullying? Does anyone deserve to be bullied in any instance? Was there a time when you stuck up for someone or someone stuck up for you? Please share!