Hello, World!

This is the beginning, but it doesn't feel like it. We've come so far already, and we are only in the infantile stages of this process. For the sake of information, here's where we've come from and where we are going.

When Jason and I were first married, we knew we wanted a house full of children, we knew we wanted to wait a couple years before we started filling that house, and we knew we would eventually add to our family through adoption. Adoption was always on our radar, because everyone involved is given an opportunity to grow in understanding and empathy. We just wanted to be involved with people selfless enough to choose adoption. We knew there was a need, and we knew we could serve others by being adoptive parents. Serving others makes my world go round. I love giving, and I love, understand, and connect with children. It just fit.

Five months into our marriage, we received distinct revelation from our loving Heavenly Father that we were to start trying for our first child. Nine months later, he joined our family. Eight months after that, I could feel that something wasn't right with my body. Being a dancer, I had always been so in tune with my own rhythm and movement, and now it all just felt wrong. Over the next nine months, things went from bad to worse to worst. My lower back and legs were in pain all the time, really bad pain. Thank goodness for my little boy! He was the reason I was able to press through, get out of bed every day, and find a reason to "cowboy up", as my father would say.



My back pain suddenly got better. There was no real explanation for it. It wasn't perfect, and never has been since, but it was so much better! Through advice from a physical therapist and more inspiration for our Heavenly Father, we got pregnant a second time. Another little boy was coming. Brothers! We were ecstatic. Despite the hopes of my physical therapist at the time, a large reset to my hormones didn't help the pain. In fact, being pregnant made my back hurt a lot worse. When our second son was born, the pain went back to exactly how it had been at the start of the pregnancy.

And then my babies grew into little boys. Now we are ready to add more children to our family. We have found out that I have arthritis in my SI joints, which means getting pregnant will limit my mobility with age and possibly send me to a wheelchair early. If I adopt instead of carrying the child myself, I will live a normal life. Is the pain still there? Yep, we're still working to find the right combination of medication and lifestyle that will take the pain away. But it has only made me stronger, less judgmental of others, and more patient with everyone around me. I would never have asked for this challenge in my life, but I am so grateful for the growth it has given me.

Everyone asks if we are sad that we can't have children naturally anymore. That has never been my focus. Instead, I think about the inspiration we received to have our boys when we did. The Lord knows and loves us! I can't imagine my life without my two little boys! Thank goodness we followed His counsel, or our family would forever feel empty. The other question we get is why we don't just settle in with our two children and not have any more at all. This isn't an option. Serving others is what I do, and serving children is what I want to do with the rest of my life. I love their purity and innocence. I love watching them make connections and express unabashed love. I wish all of us could be a little more like them.

Now we are here, ready to jump in, to follow God's counsel, and to expand our family to include all who will join us. Who couldn't use another loving, supportive person in their lives?? I love this feeling of being on the brink of something wonderful, knowing goodness, love, and empathy lie ahead, preparing to grow spiritually and emotionally. My eyes are forward, and I can't wait to jump in.