UACs Adoption Conference, part 2 (Day 1)

Class #1: Opening a Closed Adoption

There were both Birth Parents and Adoptive Parents at this one. And the two perspectives really added to the conversation. I loved being in there with both groups and feeling the bond the groups had together. Most people in the room didn't say enough to reveal which side of the conversation they fell on, but some did. One girl was obviously a Birth Parent from her comments, and I got to talk to her briefly in the next class, which was awesome, because I really felt like she had a lot of wisdom to share. I'll tell about our conversation later.

This class doesn't apply to us now, but I felt as though it might if we lose contact with our future Birth Parents one day. We know that life gets REALLY busy as it moves along, so we know contact from the Birth Parents end may change from time to time; we might be best friends one year as we live close together and hardly be in contact the next year as the Birth Parent works hard to hold down a job and graduate from high school or college. And that's okay! Life happens! But I wanted to know exactly how to NOT lose contact and exactly how to say things honestly without offending. I would really hate to say something in my ignorance that offends. That's what I was trying to avoid by attending this class.


They mostly went over past adoptions, those that were forced to be closed adoptions because they happened before 1997, which is when the adoption world changed because we all figured out that no one benefited from loss of contact and control, especially not the Adoptees. They did touch on etiquette a little, which was why I was there. The awe-inspiring woman that taught this class was a Birth Mother. She told her story about placing a child in a closed adoption and making contact later. She talked a bit about the disappointment she felt as she found out 18 years after placement that life hadn't gone as planned for her son. The circumstances were out of anyone's control, but it had really impacted her. As she spoke, her strength came shining through, even with the waver in her voice. Maybe because of it. 

Break:
During the break, Jason and I bid on several items set out for a silent auction. We ended up winning one! Jason is the official owner of the signed Rookie Draft Cap of Trey Burke. It sports the draft sticker and all. Pretty cool! This silent auction went on until after lunch on Day 2, and we spent about half our break time looking at all the items. We had originally put a bid on about 6 of them I think.
 
Class #2: Myths and Fears of Adoption from the Adoptee Panel Perspective
This class was listed as a class for Birth Parents, but how could I miss it? The people that I need to learn the most from are those in whose shoes I've never walked. For me, this is Birth Parents and Adoptees, the makeup of this class! The people on the panel ran the gamut.
1st, there was a man from an international adoption that didn't have a hard time being adopted. His mom had encouraged him to share his story since he was about 10 years old, and it had really helped him in knowing that being adopted is just that, and nothing more or less.
2nd, there was a man from an international adoption whose brother was also adopted by the same family, so they get to be together. They know their birth family in South America, and one brother has a hard time with their history while the other one does not. It made for an interesting dynamic.
3rd, there was a woman who was adopted from the foster care system when she was a bit older. Her struggles and triumphs were definitely different than the rest of the panel who were all adopted as infants, and I loved hearing her story.
4th, there was a man adopted from within the states through a closed adoption. His story was about finding his family.
The lady running the show was also adopted through a kinship adoption, and she was a therapist. We got to ask any questions we wanted anonymously by writing them on cards. I got both of my questions answered, and I felt so blessed! I really love any knowledge I can gain about adoption right now. I just eat it up!

Class #3: (Okay, there should be another class listed here, but none of them really applied to our situation, so we ran home and hugged our babies instead.)